“I Don’t Want to Live on the Zoom” — A Parody (Music Video)

I Don't Want to Live on the ZoomZoom. Are you sick of living on it yet?

In high school and college, I loved writing parodies of my favorite songwriters’ hits. It was a good practice that taught me more than I expected about writing song lyrics. I still enjoy it.

My absolute favorite Sesame Street song is “I Don’t Want to Live on the Moon” (sung by Ernie, written by Jeff Moss in 1978). I’ve been playing and singing it for my kids (and for myself) for years.

Last weekend, I said to myself, “I don’t want to live on the Zoom.” I knew I had to write this parody. So, on Monday night I wrote and recorded the lyrics. On Tuesday I shot a video. (Pardon my unpolished and unprofessional vocal, piano, audio-recording, and video-editing skills!)

I hope this brings a little humor to your day. I sure enjoyed it.


I Don’t Want to Meet on the Zoom (YouTube Video)


Lyrics

Well, we have to meet on the Zoom
Cuz the COVID-19’s everywhere.
Yes, we have to meet on the Zoom,
But I really don’t want to be there.
Yes, your virtual background with puppies is cute.
[Hold on one second] my mic was on mute!
And so though I might use it amid doom and gloom,
I don’t want to live on the Zoom

Well, sometimes we GoToMeeting
Where our updates and screens we can share.
Yes, sometimes we GoToMeeting
But I really don’t want to be there.
I don’t have to wear pants,
And by that I’m quite pleased!
But someone should tell you
When your nose hair needs tweezed!
If there’s permanent changes from COVID-19,
I hope it’s not GoToMeeting.

I’ve got nothing ‘gainst WebEx or Facebooking Live—
except my coworkers see my pad is a dive
and my kids in the background…
HEY! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!
No, I don’t want to live on the Zoom.

So, if we have to meet on the Zoom,
Well, I’ll hop on my laptop and then
I will find a pair of earbuds,
And I’ll talk to the camera again.
Though I can smile and nod and keep you on mute,
And you have to admit that my humblebrag’s cute,
It’s just not the same without you in the room.
So, I don’t want to live on the Zoom.
No, I don’t want to live on the Zoom.

Lyrics by Eric Schumacher. © 2020 emschumacher.com.
Parody of “I Don’t Want to Live on the Moon,” written by Jeff Moss (1978) for Sesame Street.

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