#DadsHurtToo (Part 6) — Miscarriage and the Gospel

Dads Hurt Too: A Father's Memoir of MiscarriageThis is the concluding post in a series on miscarriage and the Gospel — “#DadsHurtToo — A Father’s Memoir of Miscarriage.”

It’s been almost three years since our last miscarriage. Wounds are healing. Yet, I’d be lying if I said those foxes don’t still bark and nip from time to time. They bark, but the Gospel speaks.

Even as I write this, those foxes run circles around my chair, barking for attention: What will happen if this is published? Will I be rebuked for speaking of my own suffering when others have suffered more? Accused of downplaying how mothers suffer by highlighting a father’s pain? Will I be whispered about in secret for the ways I’ve failed? Ridiculed online for mourning a person that was never born? What if someone takes offense, thinking I’m calling them out in some way? What if people use past weakness to form future accusation? Perhaps I should delete this now, stay silent, and alone?

The Foxes Still Bark, but the Lion Still Roars

But those voices won’t win. Jesus, the Lion of Judah, roars louder than the foxes. He has proved over the years that his power is made perfect in my weakness. The accuser, who dispatched the foxes, is overthrown not by my silence, but by the Lamb of God who took away my sin by faith in him.

Over the past decade, I’ve tried to be intentional in speaking of my afflictions—miscarriages, conflicts, depression, anxiety, weakness, failing, disappointment, and loss. I know there are men who simply don’t understand. There are men who roll their eyes. But then there are those men who pull me aside at conferences, who drop me an email, who meet me for coffee, who call me and say in quiet tones, “We had a miscarriage. I don’t know what to do. I know you’ve been through it. Could we talk?”

So we talk. I listen to their grief, offering what little wisdom and practical tips I can. I speak of Jesus, the Son who roared in the face of death and crushed its head. Then we ask the Father who hears and sees and knows to give us faith and hope and love.

It is with that hope that I publish these words—that grieving fathers and mothers might hear and find the freedom to speak, to grieve, to believe, and to heal.


This series originally published at Risen Motherhood.


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